My Parents Are Married, Thank You

Having finished pretty much everything I can do in Skyrim and still have fun (including all of the add-ons), I finally, legitimately started a new character. (Any other time I’d started anew was because I just didn’t have my saved game for one reason or another — left my thumb drive at home, played at a friend’s house on a different console, etc.)

This time, my immediate plan was to be a Nord and marry Onmund from the College of Winterhold. When it came time to customise my character, I chose to be an Imperial. Why I made that change, I really have no idea. Many times since then, I’ve thought “Why in the world did I choose Imperial over Nord?”

During the Dark Brotherhood mission to “fix” a wedding problem between an Imperial and a Nord (really, the only reason I joined the Dark Brotherhood this time was to get the wedding outfit from this mission), one of the Nords in attendance called me an “Imperial b******.” I just walked away and said, “My parents are married, thank you!” (Though now that I’m writing about it, I think it’s coming back to me… It probably had something to do with the Thalmor/Stormcloak war, and since I wanted to side with the Empire this time I figured it would be easier for an Imperial to do so.)

Anyway, when I joined the College and soon met Onmund (as he’s an initiate at the same time), I started to reconsider him.  After being married to an Orc with my main character, Onmund just doesn’t seem like “my” type anymore.

After a few more hours of play, I finally found all the fire salts I needed for Balimund.  I was wearing my Amulet of Mara and we ended up engaged.  I was a little excited and immediately set out to get the wedding dress.


Having my wedding outfit, I spoke with Maramal about setting up the wedding, then waited until the next morning for the guests and Balimund to arrive.  When he did, I froze.  Not the good sort of froze like being nervous about marrying or being overwhelmed by his good looks.  No, it was the bad sort of froze.  I’ve never been a fan of mustaches.  I say “grow it all or shave it all.”  (The “rules” for that aren’t strict; a goatee is perfectly fine — even a disconnected goatee, depending on the rest of his look.)  But the mustache on Balimund’s face…  It’s the worst kind.  It looks exactly like the mustache one of my uncles had all the way into the late 90’s, along with his mullet.  I have no idea why I hadn’t noticed it before Balimund and I got engaged!

Actual shot from my game.

Call me shallow, but it traumatised me a bit and I called off the wedding.

Actual shot from my game.

I would have felt worse about it, but I figured I might as well find out what would happen if I called off a wedding.  Maramal got mad and told me to leave, having betrayed the sanctity of marriage, or something like that.  Balimund was upset as well, of course.  But it seems like I’ll have no trouble being able to marry someone else.

So, my search continues.

Author: Kuri

Kuri is a nerdy, introverted vegan who moves way too much 😩. She spends her time at the gym, gaming, learning about nutrition, astronomy, and grammar, watching her favourite movies/television, reading, and being an overall fangirl.

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