Days of Nothing

Disclaimer: I don’t have actual medical proof that my “nothing day” theory is true. It’s all simply from what seems to be true after my many experiences of this type.

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel nothing? Just nothing? You also know it’s just today so you don’t waste time thinking there’s no point to life.

Maybe you hang out with or talk to friends, but you feel nothing. Maybe you watch your favourite programme, but you feel nothing. Maybe you even smile and laugh, and mean it, but you just don’t feel it.

For me, today is one of those days. I’m not unhappy or depressed. There’s just no emotion. Like the limbic system (the parts in the brain that are mostly responsible for emotions) decided to take a day off, for the most part. (The hippocampus, in the limbic system, plays a big role in converting short-term memory into long-term memory, but that works just fine.) In this case, however, I know I’ll be just fine tomorrow. I know exactly what caused it.

When I was a teenager (in February of my high school senior year, to be precise), I discovered a link between days like this and recent “emotional overload,” you might call it. One day I would be at an extreme emotional high –usually over a crush or fandom over something–, and the next day I might feel nothing. I made the connection after learning why taking steroids has negative effects on the body. Steroids themselves aren’t bad; they’re a natural thing the body produces. However, when one takes steroids from other sources (especially synthetic ones), their brain realises that there’s too much and it slows, or even stops production. I figured that my brain must have realised there was too much going on in those few-and-far-between instances of that extreme emotional high, and therefore greatly slowed production of those hormones. Thankfully since it was my body that produced so much, it knows to start back up again.

Though my recent episode of that type of high was two days ago instead of yesterday, here I am, remembering why the heck this must have happened to me today. I love the show Doctor Who so much. I’ve been thinking about it a whole lot recently, mostly due to the addictive Trock band Chameleon Circuit. I swear, I only have to listen to them once and three weeks later I’m still waking up with their songs stuck in my head. Anyway, for some reason, I felt so obsessed with the show (especially the first season), even though I don’t think I watched a single episode all day. I did watch G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, which stars Christopher Eccleston, but that’s not Doctor Who.

As I’ve always done on the days I feel nothing, I tried all day to feel something using the thing that made me feel something in the first place. I watched Doctor Who, looked at Doctor Who pictures, and thought about Doctor Who all day, trying to get myself to feel it again. You know, just trying to make sure I’m still alive. But once I remembered why this happened… well, I couldn’t say I was relieved, because that’s an emotion, haha.

Now that the “nothing” day is winding down, I’m starting to get some feeling back in my limbic system. I actually kinda meant that “haha” up there, haha. Ooh, and that one, too!

Good-night, Doctor Who. I think I’ll take an emotional break from you for a little while… and get some actual work done. Haha! :o) (Don’t worry… I’m still going to watch the new episodes as they come out.)

Author: Kuri

Kuri is a nerdy, introverted vegan who moves way too much 😩. She spends her time at the gym, gaming, learning about nutrition, astronomy, and grammar, watching her favourite movies/television, reading, and being an overall fangirl.

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